I was cold and cranky by the time I reached Clinic One. It was freezing outside, and snowing the first real snow of the season. Sunday morning buses are scarce: my first bus has been late, which meant that I had missed the transfer to the second bus, which consequently meant that I had walked for 20 minutes in the cold to get to the appointment that was solely intended to confirm what we were already fairly sure of: November wasn’t going to work.
The blood draw technician moved the needle in my arm for well over two minutes before giving up and moving to my hand. She spent this entire time commenting on how scared and anxious and uncomfortable she could see I was. I’m sure this was intended empathy, but left me much more scared, anxious and uncomfortable than I had been.
Blood drawn and ultrasound done, I was eventually called in to see Dr. Left. Dr Left was the second doctor I had met at Clinic One and, while I find his constant smile and smooth voice bordering on creepy, I was happy to be seeing him today. Dr Left is the head of Clinic One, and this gave him some sort of advantage in my mind– surely he could tell me what was going on.
Having been called in to see Dr. Left, I had been shuttled into an exam room and abandoned for long enough that I thought I had been forgotten. It was plausible, I thought. Possible that I wouldn’t be remembered until some unsuspecting couple came into the room for an IUI or ultrasound. I looked around the room, which was an exam room like all of the others except for this odd display in the corner:
Finally Dr. Left joined me and the intimately posed monkeys in the exam room. Strolling into the room, Dr. Left sat down on a small stool, spun slightly towards me, and asked me why I had come to Clinic One that morning. Having waited for two buses, walked 20 minutes in the cold, allowed myself to be poked twice by a needle-wielding technician with dubious bedside manner, and sat for over two hours in a bustling waiting room playing a seemingly endless stream of Christmas music, I was not prepared for this nonchalant question. I glared at him from the chair I was sitting in, wedged in next to an exam table. “Because Dr. Bald (Doctor #4) told me to.” “Now, why did he tell you to do that?” Dr. Left asked, speaking as if he was good-naturedly scolding a young child. I explained that Dr. Bald had told me to come back because my dominant follicle had disappeared, leading Dr. Bald to believe either that I wasn’t going to ovulate or that I already had and they had missed it.
“Oh no!”, Dr. Left exclaimed, still speaking as if he was chastising Dr. Bald for stealing a cookie. “You haven’t ovulated yet, but you will! Come back on Wednesday and we’ll see where things are at.” Having been under the impression that this cycle was over, I was slightly stunned. I gathered myself enough to ask what he thought the disappearing follicle meant, if not the ovulation of a bad egg as diagnosed by Dr. Bald. Dr. Left blames either a follicle that had grown and gone away, eventuallly to be replaced by another (“That happens sometimes!”) or a cyst (now gone). He thinks that I will still ovulate before bleeding, but that it will just be a really (really) long cycle.
Good news? I guess. I do like the idea of not having to wait until January, but I’m not holding on to this as absolute truth. Keep in mind, I’ve been given a different assessment of my inner workings every day this week. Also, after 15+ years of very regular cycles, I’m finding this unpredictability unsettling. All I know right now is that I’m going back to Clinic One on Wednesday. We’ll have to see what happens after that.
This is the cycle that never ends,
Yes, it goes on and on my friends!
Some person started blogging it not knowing what it was,
And they’ll continue blogging it forever just because…
Total ultrasound count: 16