Sea and I have decided that a child created using Mickey, our first choice donor, would have been a serial killer. The child would likely have brought us nothing but grief, making us rue the day we chose the donor we did, before he killed us in our sleep. He would have been used as an example of the dangers of same-sex parenting by conservatives around the world, with old men shaking their heads and exclaiming, “Just look what can happen!” So you can thank us now, because IUI #3 didn’t work.
Dr. Text had told us that I could come in for the pregnancy test on Sunday or Monday, and we had previously decided that I would go in on Monday before work. This morning I woke up early, feeling ill. I had horrible cramps, and was certain that my body would be bleeding if the progesterone suppositories weren’t preventing it. If this cycle wasn’t going to work, I wanted it to be done. I discussed it with a still-groggy Sea, and we decided I would go in to Clinic One. I would get my blood drawn and, while I was there, I would track down a doctor or nurse and ask why my body might be revolting.
I was at Clinic One less than an hour later, mercifully having my blood drawn by the one technician who can reliably find a vein in my arm. Soon after the blood draw, my name was called by a young nurse who I didn’t recognise. She pulled me into an insemination room, and stood in the doorway looking through my file, “Do you feel foolish?” “Sorry?”, I responded, confused. “Do you feel fluish? Fever, chills?” Oh, fluish. No, I didn’t feel fluish– just uncomfortable and ill. She proceeded to tell me that, as a nurse, she couldn’t give any advice. She told me to take my progesterone as usual, and wait for the results of the pregnancy test.
The nurse called early this afternoon, awkward in what I’m sure is a routine call. I had managed to avoid these calls in the first two cycles, bleeding before a pregnancy test told me I was going to, but this time I was on progesterone and wasn’t going to bleed until I stopped. “I’m sorry to tell you this, but your beta was zero.”
Zero. Not even a little bit pregnant. Just absolutely and equivocally not pregnant. Just like I was an $1000+ treatment and two weeks of progesterone suppositories ago. Just like I was four months and several thousand dollars ago. Except now our first choice donor has left the program, we’re out of sperm, and really beginning from the start. Again.
And the cramps that I woke up with have progressed into a stomach flu.
In other news, I read a lot of blogs and a number of people were in the same two week wait I was. Every single one of those two week waits has resulted in a positive pregancy test, other than ours. Many of you have been trying a lot longer than Sea and I have, and I’m glad that your results this week are better than ours. Still, I feel a little left behind.
But we didn’t want to have a serial killer for a child, so this is lucky, I guess.