Fruits and vegetables.

(Alternate title: “There’s an app for that.”)

When I found out that Bingo was working on cell division, one of my first acts was to download every free pregnancy app that I could find.  I then moved on to websites and e-mail lists, signing up for updates with abandon.  Sea did her part as well, creating a series of tickers that would make even the most avid blogger green with envy.   Though I’ve pared down on the electronic stalking of our fetus quite a bit as the months have passed, I still receive several updates every week.

One of the primary features of most of these pregnancy tracking tools is a weekly size update.  As well as giving length and weight (which mean nothing to me), the tools provide a handy visual by comparing the zygote/embryo/fetus size to the size of a fruit or vegetable.  At first I found these comparisons charming: “Bingo is a blueberry! Now a raspberry!”  I would wander the aisles of the grocery store, smiling indulgently at the fruit or vegetable of the week.  Unfortunately, the comparisons quickly moved out of the aisles of my grocery store and into the realm of the obscure: “How big is a persimmon?  What is a persimmon, again?”  Now the comparisons have become completely illogical.  Take, for example, the past couple of weeks:

-Two weeks ago, a cheerful e-mail update informed me that Bingo was now the size of a loaf of bread.  I looked down at my stomach, totally unable to imagine how a full loaf of bread could be stored in there.  A small loaf, I decided, might fit.  I moved on.

-A week later, an app told me that Bingo had grown to the size of bok choy.  I happened to have some bok choy sitting at the back of my fridge, so I took it out and looked.  It was, as I suspected, smaller than any available loaf of bread.  It was barely the size of a reasonable sandwich.  Bingo had shrunk?

-This week, the apps and the e-mails agree: Bingo is the size of a pineapple.   Smaller than many loaves of bread, still, but bigger than the bok choy.   It seems that Bingo grew, shrunk, and grew again.

Despite my disillusionment with the size comparisons, I find something really great about the idea of Bingo as a pineapple– all prickly skin and sharp spears. So I’m holding on to the idea of Bingo the pineapple at 33 weeks, just hoping that next week’s updates don’t downgrade the kid to some flimsy melon or hairy coconut.

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9 thoughts on “Fruits and vegetables.

  1. I seem to remember, with my sister’s last child, quite the run of different squash, and then a decent argument about the validity of these emails when Sadie went from spaghetti to acorn squash over the course of two weeks. Social media managers and copy writers, time to learn your fruits and veg!

  2. Clearly you need to spend more time at the co-op. 😛 I’m guessing whoever wrote the app wanted to error on the side of being highly accurate versus the side of “everyone can understand this.”

    That being said, There’s a huge difference between, say – banana nut bread and the generic white bread found at say Target that seems two feet long.

  3. LOL – this is hilarious. I used to wonder about those things, too. Eventually I gave up thinking baby was the size of any fruit or vegetable. There’s a Pregnant Chicken “chart” that is hilarious, if you haven’t already seen it.

  4. I am uneasy just thinking about a pineapple in my uterus – all those pointy leaves and spines. On the other hand, my 3 yr old as all the characteristics of a pineapple so…maybe it would be better to put her back inside.

  5. Ha! This is great. Sprout was apparently the size of a rutabaga a few weeks ago, which I couldn’t really picture well enough for it to give me any useful information. But then a book that we have uses a bunch of non-fruit items including shampoo bottle and lobster, both of which are pretty uncomfortable to imagine inhabiting my belly….

  6. My wife and I took belly photos with the fruit/veggie of the week. It was all well and good until we had to cut into things to eat them. We couldn’t do it. It felt too wrong in a way that popping blueberries into our mouths did not.

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