Fruits and vegetables.

(Alternate title: “There’s an app for that.”)

When I found out that Bingo was working on cell division, one of my first acts was to download every free pregnancy app that I could find.  I then moved on to websites and e-mail lists, signing up for updates with abandon.  Sea did her part as well, creating a series of tickers that would make even the most avid blogger green with envy.   Though I’ve pared down on the electronic stalking of our fetus quite a bit as the months have passed, I still receive several updates every week.

One of the primary features of most of these pregnancy tracking tools is a weekly size update.  As well as giving length and weight (which mean nothing to me), the tools provide a handy visual by comparing the zygote/embryo/fetus size to the size of a fruit or vegetable.  At first I found these comparisons charming: “Bingo is a blueberry! Now a raspberry!”  I would wander the aisles of the grocery store, smiling indulgently at the fruit or vegetable of the week.  Unfortunately, the comparisons quickly moved out of the aisles of my grocery store and into the realm of the obscure: “How big is a persimmon?  What is a persimmon, again?”  Now the comparisons have become completely illogical.  Take, for example, the past couple of weeks:

-Two weeks ago, a cheerful e-mail update informed me that Bingo was now the size of a loaf of bread.  I looked down at my stomach, totally unable to imagine how a full loaf of bread could be stored in there.  A small loaf, I decided, might fit.  I moved on.

-A week later, an app told me that Bingo had grown to the size of bok choy.  I happened to have some bok choy sitting at the back of my fridge, so I took it out and looked.  It was, as I suspected, smaller than any available loaf of bread.  It was barely the size of a reasonable sandwich.  Bingo had shrunk?

-This week, the apps and the e-mails agree: Bingo is the size of a pineapple.   Smaller than many loaves of bread, still, but bigger than the bok choy.   It seems that Bingo grew, shrunk, and grew again.

Despite my disillusionment with the size comparisons, I find something really great about the idea of Bingo as a pineapple– all prickly skin and sharp spears. So I’m holding on to the idea of Bingo the pineapple at 33 weeks, just hoping that next week’s updates don’t downgrade the kid to some flimsy melon or hairy coconut.

Oh, food.

I’m a person who likes food.  I’ve always appreciated a good snack, and consider chocolate to be one of my closest friends.  These days, though, I spend almost as much time thinking about the contents of my stomach as the contents of my uterus.

As you know, there’s the cheese.  Cheese, once delicious, has lost its status as a preferred food.  Having discovered this unfortunate aversion, I’ve experimented a little to refine what it includes: Parmesan is fine in moderation, artificial cheese flavoring (including on mac and cheese from the box) is good, melted cheese is bad, Cheddar is terrible, melted Cheddar is the worst, pizza is acceptable (but only sometimes) if the cheese product is processed to the extent that it doesn’t smell or taste real.  Not complicated at all.

Thankfully, at 8 weeks and 5 days, morning sickness has yet to come my way.  Or, at least, it’s been confined to vague queasiness.  This queasiness is most pronounced before meals, however, and largely dictates what is delicious and what is terrible.  I have strong feelings about food.  Strong, inconsistent feelings about food.  It makes choosing lunch an adventure.

Sea finds the foods I crave hilarious: green vegetables, all the time.  Broccoli, green beans, and asparagus are particularly delicious.  Goldfish crackers, which I previously ate about once or twice a year have become a staple of my diet.  I wonder now how I was previously so oblivious to the fact that they are pretty much the best food.

While– beyond the aforementioned categories– food often doesn’t sound delicious, I’m hungry all of the time.  Sea also finds this pretty funny.  I eat breakfast, get to work, and am hungry again.  Half an hour after eating, I’ll unthinkingly say something about how hungry I am.  I’m currently trying to wait patiently for dinner, while simultaneously considering a trip to the kitchen for some more Goldfish crackers.  I carry snacks in my bag at all times.

Despite having heard a lot about pregnancy and food, I find my own body’s relationship to these things disconcerting.  Commiserate with me here, blog friends.  What were/are your cravings?  What were/are your aversions?  What food lurks/lurked at the bottom of your bag for urgent snacking needs?