Confusion, cont.

At 9:03 this morning, I texted Sea saying “The ultrasound tech just told me she’ll pray for me.”

This was within 20 minutes of my arrival at Clinic One.

Appointments at Clinic One range from under 30 minutes to over 3 hours, with seemingly no rhyme or reason.  Today’s took place at almost record-breaking speed: I was called in for my blood draw while I was still signing in, and my thighs were still cold from the outdoors when I took my pants off for the ultrasound.

The ultrasound technician was the one who had previously told me about unlucky numbers and Princess Diana.  Today she was less talkative, focused on pushing at my stomach to try to get a good image of my ovaries.  Finished, she told me that she would pray for me and would pray that this natural cycle would work.  I’m not in the habit of receiving people’s prayers, and don’t know the etiquette of how to respond when they’re offered.   So I thanked her and went off to wait for Dr. Text.

Dr. Text puzzled over my charts, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open.  I sat silently as he did this, the thirty seconds before he spoke seeming to drag on for ages.  Finally, “Well, now what’s going on here?  This is confusing.”  Oh good, today I’m confusing.  I miss the days when my ovaries were called beautiful, perfect and photogenic.  Now they’re just confusing.  So confusing, in fact, that Dr. Text left the room to see the ultrasound images himself.   He came back and announced that, though he didn’t know where it had come from, I now had an 18mm follicle.   It had appeared quickly, it seems.  So quickly that he had assumed the ultrasound technician had measured incorrectly.  But he had gone to see for himself, and there it was.  So, if we’re keeping track: two weeks ago I had a 14mm follicle, it grew a little bit, then it shrunk, then it grew some more, then it disappeared, then a new one (?) appeared at 18mm in the span of three days.  Confused?  Good.  So are Dr. Text and I.

Anyways, 18mm is a lot better than nothing and gives me some hope that IUI #2 is (finally) around the corner.  Maybe it’s those prayers.

Total Ultrasound Count: 17

This is the cycle that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends.

I was cold and cranky by the time I reached Clinic One. It was freezing outside, and snowing the first real snow of the season. Sunday morning buses are scarce: my first bus has been late, which meant that I had missed the transfer to the second bus, which consequently meant that I had walked for 20 minutes in the cold to get to the appointment that was solely intended to confirm what we were already fairly sure of: November wasn’t going to work.

The blood draw technician moved the needle in my arm for well over two minutes before giving up and moving to my hand. She spent this entire time commenting on how scared and anxious and uncomfortable she could see I was. I’m sure this was intended empathy, but left me much more scared, anxious and uncomfortable than I had been.

Blood drawn and ultrasound done, I was eventually called in to see Dr. Left. Dr Left was the second doctor I had met at Clinic One and, while I find his constant smile and smooth voice bordering on creepy, I was happy to be seeing him today. Dr Left is the head of Clinic One, and this gave him some sort of advantage in my mind– surely he could tell me what was going on.

Surely not. Continue reading